The Chronicles in a Life of a Peach

My Response to an Expectant Mom of Twins. Mother of 2 Kids - Like Me!

2009-10-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

Having Twins

When we found out that we are having twins, my husband and I were both excited - and well, we felt anxious, too! We were only married for about a month when we found out that we're expecting a baby... and it's not just A BABY, but TWIN BABIES!! :-) It felt a little too soon to have kid/s when we were just newly married. The boys (Joben and Joel) were just starting to enjoy having a "Daddy", adjusting to the new environment (from the urban Makati to the suburbs of Cavite), and to the fact that WE ARE NOW one complete, happy family (with a Mom, a Dad, a home to ourselves).

BUT - who are we to question God and His Plans for us, right? After all, children are a BLESSING!

They're ALWAYS a BLESSING!

Twins In the Family

Ronald (my hubby) is the eldest grandchild and eldest son in their family. Twins as the eldest children seems to run in the Gerida family - his maternal grandmother has twin sisters, and had twins of her own as the eldest among her many children but lost them while still in the womb at 4 months (sad). Although it seemed to have skipped on my mother-in-law. :-)

The twins are my 3rd and 4th children, but they would be the eldest children with Ronald. And I'm not ashamed to say this... that's life - and I always thank the Lord for making me the mother of my two kids - Joben and Joel!

So when Jessica, one of the Twin Moms in my forum, Raising Twins, wrote about how she and her husband were stressing when they found out they are having twins, I felt for her, too. Read on....

Surprise twins, we already have a 2 and 4 year old!

Please help, I am just about 10 weeks pregnant with twins and it came as a complete shock....actually so did the pregnancy. I have two boys and adding two more is causing my husband and I so much stress. We both work good jobs, make decent money, but are so stressed about how we can handle twins let alone afford child care for 4 children. Is there anyone that had twins after already having two young ones. Please be honest, did you manage? Any advice....would be great! Please don't get me wrong, I do have moments of excitement....but at this exact moment I am stressing.....even the thought of having to get a bigger car.......everything seems like its going to change. My husband thinks it is going to be near impossible!

Reply by Peaches Pira-Gerida on October 20, 2009 at 11:42pmDelete

Hi! We have an 11 year old, and almost-6 year old - both boys. One is schooling and the younger, we chose to hold it off until next year when we found out I was pregnant. School here in the Philippines starts in June, found out we're pregnant in March.

When we told them we were having twins (had to explain that there are going to be 2 more kids in the house), the only thing that worried my boys were if the babies will be BOYS or GIRLS. They want baby brothers :) The only thing that bothered them as we went along, is that we're not able to take them out and go places like we would, just because we don't have the money for it. Besides that, they were very excited :)

Until I went on a prolonged leave of absence at 24 weeks (ordered bed rest, but in reality, it was more like a house arrest...LOL) since my work place is almost 1 1/2 hours of commute. Since I was earning (more) than my husband (I work in a call center/BPO industry), it really brought a huge dent on our finances. But my in-laws were quick to offer on helping us out with our basic necessities, and whatever savings we have, we'll take care of the rent and so on. Other expenses we might need, they'll be happy to chip in, and we'll just pay whenever we're able.

Still, it was stressful for me in the beginning because I could have been able to still go to work until 32 weeks and be financially equipped IF I was still staying at my parents' condo during the weekdays (5 mins away from my office). But I moved out at 20 weeks due to (personal issues) with my parents, and took an apartment a block away from my in-laws. For weeks, I have traveled to and back. Very tiring! :)

So here I am, 10 weeks into my pre-ML, everything's so far been going well. Though time came when the last of my meager savings run dry and I cried because I'm not used to having to depend to anybody for help. I've been a single mom for 10 years, financially equipped and not having to stop work until near due-date, raised them with help from live-in caregivers (we call them "yaya" or nanny. Having a nanny, house helper, maid is very common in the Philippines).

BUT - help was offered, and this time, I gladly took it. It was not easy at first, but I love my husband very much and I didn't marry him for what or what-not financial security he can provide me and my kids, so I knew for the start that I'll be the one who brings home more cash, and so on. He's a nurse staff in a local clinic where we live, and THAT alone is much help! Our doctors - OB, pedia, and so on - may not even bill us when I give birth. Even so, we don't have to pay out right.

I know my situation sounds different from you - but I hope you don't get too stressed out too much thinking about what's going to happen :-) I've been reading a lot of stories and insights from Moms here on board and they're very very helpful! (Even if I can't find stores here that gives discounts for multiple babies.. ;p) But still - 4 kids for us, as well, and one (decent) income.

It's not going to be impossible! :) I'm with you! Good luck with your pregnancy!

****END***

My Ultimate Challenge: Breastfeeding My Twins

2009-10-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been a major research feat for me in learning all I can about breastfeeding - reading articles, watching videos, joining forums such as Raising Twins - from Why, How To, schedule feeding vs. on-demand, tandem feeding, and so on.

Reason why this is so is because I feel that I have failed in this department with my two other boys due to lack of information and support. Joben and Joel were also delivered thru C-section. Being a single mom at the time meant doing almost everything on my own, though the helper took care of the non-baby stuff like cooking and laundry (I owe them!).

BUT now there's no excuse. A friend brought home a a dual breastpump that comes with a stylish carrying bag and I've invested on a 2 sets of BPA-fee Breastflow Feeding Bottles to supplement the babies' feeding needs, without losing the natural flow of milk that comes from my breast.

Breastflow is the only feeding system that requires both suction and compression, just like breastfeeding. The nipple is designed to mimic the breast so baby can latch on and to encourage the same mouth and tongue position as breast feeding. The double nipple system requires both suction and compression, just like breast feeding and baby controls the flow of milk. It's the bottle most like breastfeeding.

I'm excited and anxious at the same time. This is one challenge that I wish to come out with flying colors!

***I am COMMITTED!***

Very HELPFUL resources I found courtesy of the author (a lactation consultant) from Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

33 weeks and 4 days

2009-10-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Can you believe this?!

Jared and Jerico have been very active lately that I sometimes think they're not going with our timetable here... LOL

Boys! You're still a couple more weeks before due date! PLEASE BEHAVE!!! hehehe

The photos were taken this morning.

I found out that if the babies move a lot, I tend to feel more hungry after a while! Which is true, by the way. Coz I just had breakfast over an hour ago!!

How's the weather today?

It's a nice, not-to0-warm, not-too-sunny Sunday for us here in Silang, Cavite. It's Market Day in AUP, which means that stalls of fresh fruits and vegetables (from Tagaytay and nearby areas in Silang, Cavite) are set up from sun-up to sun-down. (FYI: This also happens every Thursdays...)

This is one of the BEST things I love about living in AUP! The Market Days :)

I'll take photos of the stalls and stuff one of these days. Hmmm... Perhaps TODAY - if ONLY my hubby lets me go out. Lapit lang naman eh hehehe...

Waiting to Give Birth (33 weeks and 1 day)

2009-10-15T03:02:00.000-07:00

I have officially reached 33 weeks and 1 day today...a couple more weeks, says my doctor, then I should be ready to deliver my twins. However, she also said that IF I reach 35 weeks, then we’ll probably push for another week and make a go for it. Then again she said, for babies not to be born prematurely (36 weeks below), then we’ll push for 37 weeks.

OK – that’s a lot of pushing I need to do here, don’t you think? Hahaha...

Premature delivery is usually common to multiple births, and it is quite rare for Moms to reach full term pregnancy. Statistics shows that twin births typically happen between 34-36 weeks (very little percentage, mind you!). But I don’t want to be part of the statistics – I want to be a living proof of God’s Masterplan in the Lives of Our Twins Jared and Jerico J

So how’s it been like for me in the waiting zone?

For the last couple of weeks, getting out of bed to pee, switching positions in bed during sleep from either sides, and placing pillows whichever part of my belly or back or legs beg for comfort – becomes a battle each night. Sometimes I have to wake up my hubby to pull me up when I needed to take a leak. I think one of these days he’ll have to help me turn in bed because to be honest with you, even THAT task is becoming more difficult each time. Hip pain is common at this time. I’ve also been suffering from pelvic pain, particularly on the left side. I already asked if I can put Salonpas® on sore areas, but it’s not safe to use it while pregnant, as the skin absorbs whatever drug is used to relieve muscle pain and so on. So OK. None for me then. J

Hot compress might work. Yeah – but I haven’t tried that out yet.

It’s not just the discomforts of third trimester pregnancy symptoms that preoccupies my wait time i.e., growing fatigue, back pain, frequent urination, heartburn, precontractions and so on (hubby says my feet and legs aren’t swollen yet. Oh yeah? Hahaha). Other things that keep me preoccupied (not actually keep me busy, though) – Hmmm...

OK, one MAJOR thing is getting wired over the Net like visiting my Facebook, browsing and reading articles about pregnancy and babies (but of course!), news from local and abroad, working –from-home articles, training and development stuff (I’m hoping I could shift careers next year... been in Operations 90% of my career life already!) updating my blog, and other network sites like Plaxo®, LinkedIn, watch movies, listen to music and so on.

I do this until my butt gets sore from sitting on a bean bag or in bed full of pillows.

Can somebody get me a breakfast cum laptop-bed tray, please? J

Lastly, but not the least of all things – I’m 24/7 available to my kids and hubby. Oh, how sweet it is to be LOVED by them! J

Excerpts from my Daily Journal

2009-10-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 17, 2009

Today’s the 5^th day since I started my prolonged leave of absence. I’m nearing 25 weeks pregnant. I feel the twins moving simultaneously now. A few weeks ago, Baby B (boy – for now, we named him Juan Miguel) actively makes a lot of movements more than his sister/brother. Until now, we still don’t know if Baby B (baby at the bottom) is a boy or a girl J But we’ll find out on Friday, when I have another ultrasound.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My twin’s are so active. Sometimes I would think that they’re anxious to come out already... I softly caress my belly and speak to them and tell them to wait... I would tell them that I want us to wait until we reach 37 weeks. Hubby and I already agreed that (if and) when we’re granted our wish to give birth on my 37^th week, then we’ll give birth on November 9 J

So how I do keep myself busy these days? How do I start my day?

Last week was different. The first couple of days before the weekend, I would wake up along with my eldest son, JOBEN, who wakes up at 6AM during school days. I couldn’t stay in bed when he wakes up and starts moving about. Either he doesn’t get out of bed and I have to prompt him, or my hubby does.

But at the start of this week, I try to stay in bed even after the prodding at 6AM begins. Sometimes, our youngest, JOEL, would wake up and asks if he can watch TV. He likes catching watching NICK Jr. at channel ABC-5.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Days of utter boredom – or so I would think sometimes. But most of the hours I make up for what seems to be boredom, I spend reading a novel from my CherryMobile D50 cheap dual-sim phone. I have a compilation of novels by romance bestselling contemporary authors in text file. I do have a boxful of paperbacks yet to be read... teen romance books, all 25 of them which I bought for php20 each from a Christmas sale 2 years ago. I’ve read a few – over a year ago... It would be amusing to start from the first book all over again. Hehe...

It’s not at all too boring, if you come to think of it. I’m just feeling lazy sometimes. I do have plenty of things to do at home, and with my youngest son.

1. Sewing – repair clothes, make something out of scrap clothes. I lack some materials to make artsy-crafts, but I can always find whatever scrap is available around just to keep my sewing fingers busy

2. Scrapbooking – I’ve been meaning to start working on a scrapbook for Joben and Joel when they were babies. Joel has most of his stuff already uploaded in my laptop (digi pics). I just need to organize them into printable stuff and paste it on a scrapbook sheet. Joben has printed photos. (Darn... all those photos and other things I left at Tandang Sora...). Oh well, I’ll just have to make do with the pictures I have with me.

3. Read PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE all over again...? – I don’t want to turn into a religious fanatic or anything, but it does make sense when you engage yourself in reading it at this time when I can spiritually digest the content. I also bought a new Bible – my other copies are left in TS as well. Haay. Let bygones be bygones....

I mean – there are so many others who would trade places with me right now, to have this much time on their hands to be able to do what they cannot do when they’re stuck in a routine from Mondays-Fridays. Not that working in a call center gives me the luxury of working weekdays, or working from 9am-5pm.

It’s my 26^th week... and if God-willing, 10 more weeks to go before my babies are due to come out. That’s going to give me a lot of time to organize what needs to be organized, books to read, and so on. I may not have the luxury to travel and go places anywhere I want to, but at least I can out of my reading. Reading books really a great means for me to learn about new places, new faces (in how the writers develop their characters in their stories), learn new experiences through these characters...

Other things that come to mind off the bat, is the issue of accepting offers by well-meaning friends and acquaintances to be godfather or godmother of the twins. I still don’t know how that’s going to work or what to do (one set of godparents for the twins or one ninong/ninang individually). My hubby is an Adventist. Like Protestants, we don’t practice Baptism. We practice Dedication. We dedicate our children to God and it’s done in public with witnesses and sponsors who should be their spiritual advisors in our absence – parents being the first spiritual advisers of children, then the church (Pastor, etc) if they are a member. Like with Joben and Joel, I dedicated them to the Lord on their 1^st Birthday. That’s what I have discussed with my hubby to be done with the twins as well. It’s more for practical purposes, expenses-wise.

But like one of the articles I read on the subject this morning, getting godparents for your children depends on the purpose. Is it to be their guardians in case something happens to us – including providing financial support in case of our demise? I think that’s the sole purpose. But what if well-meaning friends offer to sponsor aka become their Ninong and Ninang? How do we treat them and make them part of the children’s lives?

Well... I ‘m glad I’ve finally written something worthwhile in my journal today haha... It took me over a week from my previous entry to come up with another. I still haven’t started doing my updates yet – that’s another task yet to be accomplished!

Until then...

Friday, September 04, 2009

I have just realized that up to now, I’m still not comfortable admitting to myself how I really feel. I rationalize things. Either that or I’d rather not dwell on the state of my emotions. So in the end, I shrug off any negative feeling and confront my feelings or reaction after all the rationalizations – which is mostly done thru conversing with my inner self. I don’t have anyone to talk to close at hand. I have gotten used to it. I get to talk things out with my husband when the issue strikes up, not like an agenda was prepared beforehand and we plan on discussing whatever issues bother him or me.

It seems like my husband is that way, too. He keeps to himself. Although he can casually mention a personal issue to his friends and anticipate comments from them, he doesn’t seem to be keen on discussing his own thoughts about the matter. Marital issues. I hope he doesn’t talk about our marital issues, if any.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Whoa! My last entry was a week ago. Grabe, I’m so tamad talaga. Truth is, I do have lot of things I want to write down, stuff that runs in my head... but yeah, admittedly, tamad to set up my laptop and jot them down. It’s difficult to find the right position when sitting down in my bed. I guess that’s it. I do have a bedside make-shift table, but it’s too low L

Ok – so what have I missed so far? Did I mention that we’re having TWIN BOYS? J Yes! But I have to admit that for a few seconds back during the ultrasound 3 weeks ago, I felt a pang of teeny weenie disappointment that Baby A was not a girl. Not that I’ve wished it from the start – as I really wanted twin boys. But almost everyone around me wished that at least one of the twins would be a girl. So I guess that sort of got me carried away into hoping the same thing, too.

I want baby boys. I have now 4 boys, come to think of it. J

When I first got pregnant (with JoBen), I prayed for a baby boy. I prayed for a son because I knew that I would not marry the father of my child, and that I was also decided not to get married at all. I wanted a son I can raise and develop into a sports enthusiast, or at least grow up to love the outdoors and the adventures of travelling, camping, roughing it out.

I got pregnant with JoBen when I least expected anything remotely related to having a family. I mean I was still in college when I got pregnant. I had “ambitions” of travelling abroad, going into missions as a volunteer, etc etc. Having a career in journalism or broadcasting or any endeavour related to my studies was not even an option then. Although I was planning to take up Pre-Law after graduating.

At any rate, God had blessed me with a son – and forever I will be thankful for having been entrusted a healthy so – with golden-streaked, brown hair, peach complexion and eyes that started out violet in color, blue until he was about 11 months old, and finally turning into hazel when he grew up. JoBen was almost a perfect baby. My feelings for him are more of love than of pride. He wasn’t like a prized possession that I needed to flaunt. He was a gift that I grew to cherish and love more than anything else.

Then came Joel... He was the other son I wanted and God had blessed me with.

JoBen asked for a baby brother when he was 4 ½ years old. I wasn’t married then. I don’t remember now if I was dating Joel’s biological dad at the time... But the point is, God entrusted another son to me.

God has been granting the desires of my heart – THAT is my testimony.

And God is now entrusting me, and my husband – the lives of two sons – twins!

In my life – and now in the lives of my husband and my children, we always attribute our gifts from The One who is the Author of Life.

Thank you, our Father God.

JARED MISHAEL and JERICO MISHAEL – your Daddy, brothers and I are excited to have you in the family! Come, when it’s time J